Hey World! Alright, I know I said I would keep in touch more and I let you all down again. I am sorry.
However, something monumental has happened. To give you guys a wider insight to my life, it wasn’t always so happy go lucky. I had some bad experiences growing up, being bullied by my terrible, terrible friends and such. Because I had so much pent up sadness and no outlet for any of it, I began turning to the unfortunate measure of self-injuring to deal with my problems. This went on for some time, until I decided I wanted to get better. I told my mom about my habits and was soon sitting in the office of a therapist.
I chose to recover because I wanted to feel happy again. I felt I lost my childlike innocence years before, rather it was taken right out of my hands. I couldn’t remember what sunlight felt like, and getting out of bed each morning terrified me. I wanted to stop feeling so lost all the time, and that’s why I reached out for help.
Some parts of recovery were easy, happy days made me forget about the bad ones, and how could I possibly want to hurt myself when I was finally laughing again? Sometimes getting better was effortless. And then some parts of recovery were excruciating. So many nights I’d stay up worrying or crying until 4 AM, knowing it would be so easy to just slip back under the riptide. I can safely share with you all that I’m 4 years free of self-injury. Picking myself back up has been amazing.
I want you all to know that no matter what you’re going through, you’re gonna be ok. I promise you, you will be ok. Right now someone is thinking of you, and somebody loves you more than you’ll ever comprehend. There are so many sunny days ahead of you that will make any bad experience worth enduring. You’ll get stronger everyday and overcome anything you’re being faced with.
I love you all,
Jessie- the girl who still smiles