Posts Tagged With: friendship

FRIENDSHIP

In my first two years of college I have learned more about friendship than I had from preschool to high school graduation. I didn’t give the subject much thought before, friends were just people you enjoyed being around and told your secrets to. It wasn’t until I seriously started to grow up that I began to analyze how my companions could be impacting my life, both in wonderful and sometimes horrible ways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something my mom always told me was, “If they’ll gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you.” I always kept it in mind, and the thought grew with me. Even though I was fairly certain (like 99.9% positive) that certain friends would never talk smack about me, I simply didn’t like the ways they would talk about others. I cringe every time someone is called ugly, since childhood it’s just something I never could stomach. I learned that I didn’t want friends who were okay with putting others down, even if they never would put me down. I want to be friends with people who compliment strangers, and talk about how lovely they think our mutual friends are.

I learned that sometimes your friend will have one little habit, one minor quality about them that just irritates you to no end. Maybe they copy the way you dress or they interrupt you multiple times in one conversation. Maybe they act like they love a band more than you do (even thought you’re clearly their biggest fan to ever grace the earth). Sometimes it might even make you really mad at them, but if that one insignificant little pesky quirk about them is seriously the biggest issue in your relationship, that’s pretty darn lucky.

I learned that I should never ever sacrifice my personal growth for someone who refuses to grow. It’s like a race, not a competition, but just something we all run together. You’re doing just fine on the second lap, but your friend keeps slowing to walk. You’re the one who trained for this, you got the right shoes and drank enough water. You’re more than capable of running at your pace yet you keep stopping for them. How is that at all fair? I’ve learned that sometimes I may have to leave someone behind to keep going, but I’ll still have friends who are just one step ahead of me, and I’d love to keep up with them.

I’ve learned that whether it’s a bond with a friend, lover, parent, sibling, teacher, employer or neighbor, a relationship is a relationship. If a boyfriend/girlfriend were constantly making you unhappy or hurting you, you would probably understand that it’s best to end the relationship. Yet when it’s a best friend who’s tearing you apart, for some reason you’ll probably keep giving them chance after chance. I’ve learned that coming to the conclusion of ending a long term friendship sucks more than I can say, but I should never stick with someone simply because I have a history with them. We don’t have the past anymore, all we can do is take the best people into our futures and hope they’ll want to come along.

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Be Nice 2 Me

Hello World! 

Today I went to work as I do every Saturday morning. I went through the normal routine of folding laundry, sweeping floors, making phone calls – that kind of thing. Today things were a bit different because I got yelled at by two different clients. 

Why? One man yelled at me because he wasn’t clear in what he was asking and got frustrated extremely quickly when I didn’t give him the answer he was expecting. Another woman was furious because a stylist had to cancel her appointment which, I get it. I totally understand why she would be upset but I don’t understand why she had to take it out on me – the receptionist. 

None of it was enough to embarrass me or make me cry at work and I’m not going to go to bed worrying over what I did wrong to make someone so angry. I’m just confused over why it can be so hard for some people to just be nice. Maybe it’s just because as far as I can remember I have never ever yelled at someone like that. 

I could spend all day wondering how some people can just openly be rude, but then I think about all the kind things you could do to brighten someone’s day (who perhaps just got yelled at during work). 

-Always hold open the door for someone.

-Say thank you if someone takes you out to eat, yes even your parents. They like gratitude too. 

-Put some change in the tip jar. 

-Go back and tell the barista how much you loved the drink they made you. (Trust me as an ex-barista, this one can really make your day.)

-Compliment an artist’s work, even if you don’t know them, actually especially if you don’t know them. 

-Invite people to be in your picture. 

-Give specific compliments. (You have a nice jaw, that color looks great on you, I like your voice, you remind me of a daisy, I like your opinion on ___, etc) 

-Be an attentive passenger seat driver. Check blind spots with them and tell them when it’s safe to go. 

-Visit someone at work. 

This list is so short but it could go for pages and pages. I think sometimes we forget how far a little kindness could go, and I just wanted to remind you all that you can make a huge difference without even trying. I hope you all are having a great summer. 

Love – Jessie

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Oh you found my journal ok

As promised, here’s a poem I’ve written. 

I don’t know that I believe in soul mates anymore. I know that you were my light, a little star I tossed into the sky to make my night a little less dim. I know that I followed you, and I wished on you with every meander and dead end. What I don’t understand is how eight years were forgotten through a single phone call. I never really felt alone until my only company were your footprints on the beach, and I never really felt small until I realized how vast the ocean was without you swimming beside me. I thought I cut my heel on a shard of glass, but it was only another one of your promises. 

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Previously in My Life

Hey World! Alright, I know I said I would keep in touch more and I let you all down again. I am sorry.

However, something monumental has happened. To give you guys a wider insight to my life, it wasn’t always so happy go lucky. I had some bad experiences growing up, being bullied by my terrible, terrible friends and such. Because I had so much pent up sadness and no outlet for any of it, I began turning to the unfortunate measure of self-injuring to deal with my problems. This went on for some time, until I decided I wanted to get better. I told my mom about my habits and was soon sitting in the office of a therapist.

I chose to recover because I wanted to feel happy again. I felt I lost my childlike innocence years before, rather it was taken right out of my hands. I couldn’t remember what sunlight felt like, and getting out of bed each morning terrified me. I wanted to stop feeling so lost all the time, and that’s why I reached out for help.

Some parts of recovery were easy, happy days made me forget about the bad ones, and how could I possibly want to hurt myself when I was finally laughing again? Sometimes getting better was effortless. And then some parts of recovery were excruciating. So many nights I’d stay up worrying or crying until 4 AM, knowing it would be so easy to just slip back under the riptide. I can safely share with you all that I’m 4 years free of self-injury. Picking myself back up has been amazing.

I want you all to know that no matter what you’re going through, you’re gonna be ok. I promise you, you will be ok. Right now someone is thinking of you, and somebody loves you more than you’ll ever comprehend. There are so many sunny days ahead of you that will make any bad experience worth enduring. You’ll get stronger everyday and overcome anything you’re being faced with.

I love you all,

Jessie- the girl who still smiles

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Jealousy as of lately

Hey World,

I’m just going to apologize in advance for this pathetic post. I know you can normally find me under the happy-go-lucky category of blogs about the silly things in life, but today I needed to talk about something where no one else can see. That’s right, no one in my real life knows about this blog. You guys are like my secret friends *virtually hugs all of you, squishing your faces* Alright, let’s start from the beginning.

I’ve had a best friend for 7 years now, and the term best friend doesn’t even come close to justifying this relationship. I love this girl more than life. I can completely be myself around her (which isn’t someone I let everyone see), I’ve had more happy memories with this single person in less than half my lifetime than I’ve had with everyone else I know combined, she’s my other half, she’s molded me into the person I am in multiple ways, I’m so lucky to know her. It makes me sad to think that maybe not everyone has a bond like this. Neither one of us have ever had a boyfriend, until just recently.

I’m happy for her, I honestly am. This guy is cute, smart, nice, and they’re both really into each other. This is an exciting new chapter in her life. This really is awesome. But unfortunately I’m a jealous person (something I don’t like people seeing) and as hard as I’m fighting it, I can’t help but feel a little left out. When I think about it, it stems from more than one place.

1. She’s stunningly beautiful, funny and unique, so naturally she gets all the attention from boys while I’m notorious for having a non existent love life.

2. In high school, she was always mean to boys. I’ve always been nice to boys and it’s gotten me no where.

3. I already feel like I’m missing out on experiences that everyone else my age is having. I don’t go to some big university where I can stop by my new friend’s dorm room at 3am if I want to, I go to a community college and my parents still hold a curfew over me.

4. Lately I’m always a tricycle. So many of my friends are in relationships and I can’t hang out with a friend without feeling like I’m stealing time away from them being with their significant other. More than that, when a friend does ask me to hang out I wonder if he/she got in a fight with their boyfriend/girlfriend and that’s why they suddenly want to see me.

I get jealous, I’m sensitive and while I deny it, I do overreact to a lot of things. I’m trying my hardest to be a good best friend. I just needed to tell someone about it.

Thank  you to all the troopers who read this

-thatgirlwhoalwayssmilesexcetforrightnow

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